Do you like the title of this post? I hope you do or that, if nothing else, it has pricked your interest enough for you to read on. But I want to make it very clear from the ‘get go’ that it is not one of my lines or a statement of my own construction. (Although it could very well be.)
It is instead a line from a ‘button poem’ written by Sabrina Benaim and you can ( and I truly hope you will) view her reciting this poem in the YouTube video below.
I sat at my desk this morning just flicking through my Facebook page and came across a video about a homeless man who was given money to buy himself stuff but who then, instead of simply keeping it, used that money to buy food for others. (You have probably already see it as I believe it went viral and got a lot of media attention.)
Anyway, once that video had finished, I noticed another one which caught my eye – the Sabrina Benaim one entitled ‘Explaining My Depression To My Mother’ and I decided to click on and watch that.
I love all things ‘arty’ and write poetry myself and since the subject matter was mental health/mental illness it was of course of great interest to me. And I am so glad that I did watch it and I am delighted to be able to share it with you now.
Depression – the subject of the poem (and that which Sabrina was trying to explain to her mother) – hits those of us who experience it or duffer from it in different ways. And trust me, although I am a Christian with a very strong faith, I know only too well just what havoc it (and indeed other forms of mental illness) can reek in a person’s life.
I also know, first-hand, just how confusing it’s presence (in a believer’s life) can be to other Christians. And indeed the conversation which Sabrina has formed into her poem is not unique. And it is perhaps because of my faith that that one line – which I have used as the title of this blog – leapt out at me and resonated with me so clearly.
Of course, my mind – which all too often behaves like a four year old being set free and unsupervised in a candy store (sweet shop), running all over the place grabbing and unwrapping and devouring things – has already started to take me down a whole plethora of different thought processes and deliberations as a result of the poem and indeed as a result of that one line.
But that (exploring those thought processes and trying to bring my mind back into line) is something I will attend to once I have finished this post. But to give you some idea of said thought processes here are just a few of them:
“Can one baptise one’s self?” “Does such an ‘ocean of happiness’ even exist?” “Is faith meant to give us happiness?” “Is ‘happiness’ even the right word or is it ‘joy’ that we need?” “And indeed what are the differences?” “And hey, even with that ‘joy’ do we experience, are we meant to experience, oceans of happiness?” “Does anyone truly experience oceans of happiness?”
Of course all of those (and trust me there are many more) are linked to my faith and not the purpose or focus of Sabrina’s poem. But isn’t that how our minds work? Often taking things – the actions and statements of others and making them, shaping them, filtering and receiving them, in a way which is personal to us?
So I close this post (and wander off to my mental journey of deliberations and reflections) with the video of Sabrina reciting her poem (And I commend and thank Sabrina for her bravery in making and publishing it, or allowing it to be published) and I invite you to comment on what it said, how it spoke, to you…