Well it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Since I last posted anything significant I mean.
The thing is that I have been fairly busy doing other stuff and well, if I am honest, I kind of lost my zeal for writing after I was hurt by some people.
But a lot has happened since then and I have written some things, just not on here and I apologize for that.
One of the things (or should that be several of the things?) that has happened recently is that I have been encouraged to start writing on here again. And since I made a promise (to someone who’s opinion and support I truly respect and appreciate) that I would write again. This post is the fulfilment of that promise. Or at least the beginning of that fulfilment.
And so, I thought I would start of by asking a general question to all those readers out there who have to see a psychiatrist on a regular basis. And that question is…
Are there times when you really don’t feel like going to see your psychiatrist? But are not sure if that is because of where your mind or mental health is at that time, or because you have lost all confidence or hope that they can actually do anything to help, or because you simply don’t see the point of it all?
Because I have to be honest, that is pretty much where I find myself at the moment.
(And yes, for all those out there for who details and accuracy are really important. I do realise that actually the ‘question’ that I asked is actually a collection of questions all joined up in one.)
I have documented my opinion or at least my recent experiences of visiting the psych before. (You can check it out on my poetry blog if you like. A Trip to The Psychiatrist)
And the fact is that I am pretty sure that I could simply sign myself off of the local Mental Health service and still get the meds that I need prescribed by my own doctor – my General Practitioner.
But for some reason – despite my apparent lack of confidence in or enthusiasm to go to my psych appointment scheduled for a few day’s time – that (signing myself out of the system) seems to be just a step too far for me. And I find myself feeling like a trapeze artist who would have no safety net. And that safety net seems so very important, doesn’t it?
And there are other factors which come into play here and which I have to take into account. My mental health is not that bad at the moment and I have been ‘coping’ fairly well. Although the age-old problem of not being able to shut my mind down enough to sleep properly is still there. Which means that physically I am exhausted and this is turn effects my mental health.
Additionally over the past few weeks I have had company as one of my kids has been home a visiting with me. And this is due to end in a few days time which will, no doubt, leave me crashing a little and my mood declining. And I have to be aware and do what I can to counter that.
I feel it is a pivotal time right now. Or at least at the edge of one. And common sense says that I need to prepare for this. And yet common sense itself is sometimes not enough, is it? We need motivation as well. And perhaps that is what I am seriously lacking right about now.
And this, I feel, can be a common theme if you suffer with poor mental health and especially depression. It is like there is some sort of disconnect there. A disconnect that we somehow have to fix or at least momentarily bridge – long enough to get us moving.
So yes I wondered if others have the same issues? And indeed how you cope with them?