This, I have to admit, happens to (or with) me a lot. And whilst admitting it could very well make some of you think I have completely lost it, I would politely remind you that this is a mental health blog and thus such a thing really isn’t to be treated with such shock, nor indeed any alarm.
And let’s be honest with ourselves here. Don’t a lot of us have conversations, dialogues with ourselves? Normally when we think others are not looking. “Who ever are you talking to?” “No one dear, just myself.” Must be (or something very similar) a familiar snippet of conversation to a lot of readers, I would suggest.
Of course regular readers will know that I have for a long time now put forward the observation and proposed the suggestion that a great deal of mental health or mental illness ‘symptoms’ are simply; exaggerations, magnifications, intensifications of what many of experience.
And, as such, it is less about the fact that these things are experienced and more about to what degree they are experienced, how or when they are experienced, and the impact that they can have, which is relevant or indicative of any mental health or mental illness issues.
And regular readers will also know that because of the frequent disconnect and indeed the constant separation that I often have with my own mind, I have taken to naming my mind and to calling my mind ‘Mini Mental Me’. Trust me, this makes explanations so much easier.
(Mini Mental Me actually being the little man inside my brain who likes to: disagree with me, antagonise me, confused me or taunt me – along with other behaviours – each day.
More recently, as my last post indicates, one of our disagreements was whether or not I should attend my scheduled psychiatrist’s appointment this morning.
Mini Mental Me put forward a number of observations concerning previous visits, suggested a plethora of potential disastrous outcomes of my attending said appointment. And did his best to generally dissuade me from such course of action.
But I am pleased to report that reason, plus the encouragement of others – including my kids – won out and I actually did attend as arranged.
And it went really well, despite all the thoughts and possible scenarios flooding through my mind (thanks Mini Mental Me, NOT)
In truth, one of the main reasons why decided to go is that one of my daughters – who has been home visiting with me for the past weeks and who has done a wonderful job of redecorating some of the rooms of my home, – for which I am extremely grateful despite the disruption and extra work this also caused for me 🙂 – is schedule to leave and fly home in a a day or two. And I know that this could potentially have a big impact on my mental health.
A possibility which the psychiatrist also recognised this morning and so she has increased the dosage level of my meds.
Just what good this will do and if the increase will have any effect in time for my daughter’s departure is of course unknown at this time, just as what impact my daughter leaving will have. But at least some preventative measures will have been tried and at least I (and my psychiatrist) recognise the potential for an impact to be experienced.
And if nothing else, at least Mini Mental Me has once again been proven wrong. Not that this seems to have too much impact on his zeal for disruption.
But because I had previously shared my struggle over whether or not to go to this morning’s appointment. Because folk had kindly encouraged me and thus deserve a report as to the outcome of their encouragements. And because I have promised to write more, and this is one way of achieving that (or at least contributing towards that) I thought I would let you know.