Somewhere in the wee small hours of the night (more like very early morning really). Within the troubled yoyoing of being asleep and being awake which played with me all night last night, a questioned formed within my mind and then simply sat there defiantly until I paid it some attention.
My thoughts often do that – not leaving me until I have at least acknowledged them and walked a little, down what ever path they seek to take me.
I seem to remember that when I was a child my older sister had paper dress up games. She would have a figure – which would be a push-out or cut out piece of cardboard and some pictures of different clothing – complete with fold over tabs – and she could use each clothing to make different outfits for the cardboard figure.
And when I first decided to actually give some sort of attention to the defiant question in my mind that is what I first thought of.
Of course I then lay there – awaiting the next sporadic visit of sleep – wondering just what I would ever want to dress my thoughts for? (Did I mention that my thoughts often desire for me to acknowledge them and walk a little, down what ever path they seek to take me?)
“Not all your thoughts.” I determined, somewhere along the line. “Just the repetitive, recurring, harmful thoughts.” And certainly that made a little more sense to me. Because perhaps in the process of doing so it would reveal something to me?
We all have those internal dialogues don ‘t we? Those recurring thoughts that somehow wont go away? And is it not true that for some of us – with poor mental health – these harmful repetitive recurring thoughts play into and impact our mental health?
So what if we were to dress them? What if we were to take each of them, in turn, and to find; an outfit, a clothing, an identity, which suited them?
For me personally, so many of my internal dialogues are – due to my mental illnesses – mixed up with the seemingly external dialogues that I hear. But there are some which are evidently internal in origin and which are recurring and repetitive and which evidently do cause harm to my mental health. Indeed, I have to ask myself – since my mind was so insistent that I considered this whole thing – if clothing them would bring them some clarity?
So what if I were to ‘dress’ them? What if I were to find an outfit which suited them? Could finding an outfit which seemed right for them (Individually I mean) actually help me to identify where they originated? And indeed, if I knew where they originated from, would I be better equipped to address them? To dismiss them if they were unjust or unfair or to learn from them if they were justified?
I have to be honest with you. The way my mind is at the moment I am not sure I am even thinking rationally but it is something that does interest me.
But it is a real encouragement given to all Christians and one which does link directly into what I have been considering.
Perhaps in dressing the thought I am giving the thought the identity of it’s origin and thus can see it more clearly and can therefore take it ‘captive’.
Certainly the very idea of taking all the thoughts, internal and external dialogues, etc captive and stopping their free run of havoc within my mind seems so very appealing right now.
And who knows perhaps I, and my mind would even be able to get some sleep!