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picture courtesy of wikipedia

picture courtesy of wikipedia

I have, several times in fact, heard of depression being referred to as the ‘black dog’.

I have to be honest here and say that I really don’t like that label or the picture that it represents.

Yes I know that black is a color often understandably linked to  depression and yes I know that dogs sometimes follow you around and get under your feet.  But I just find the picture contradictory as a dog (of any color) is meant to be man’s best friend and actually I really like dogs.  Whereas I really don;t like depression lol.

No, when it comes to my depression, I just can’t bring myself to think of it, or refer to it as ‘the black dog’.

cr6Now a gathering of crows however, well now that is an entirely different story and a terms which I am more than willing to link to or use in reference to my depression.

I personally have a long and sinister link to crows.  One featured very heavily in my childhood.  Additionally they have long since been linked to sinister dark things and to cap it all off, the technical term for a gathering or group of crows is a ‘murder’.  And if anything can murder happiness depression can.  So yes crows are much more suitable as a picture of depression in my opinion.

So why am I telling you all this?  Well because those darned crows have been a gathering i my life recently and I didn’t even realize it until a couple o days ago.

Regular readers and followers of this blog will know that I haven’t been posting of late and will know that this is because my health took a turn for the worst again.

Actually it started before Christmas and got progressively worse since then. I contracted some sort of flu like virus and it really knocked be for six!  And no matter what I did I couldn’t shake it.  Additionally, it aggravated my heart condition and fatigue took hold and stayed with me for weeks.  All of which I was perfectly aware of and (as I thought) fairly used to as these things happen frequently in my life as a result of my general health.

What I hadn’t realized, however, was just how this was affecting me mentally and spiritually.  Without knowing it I started losing my joy and my hope and this in itself was simply adding to and complicating my response to my physical illnesses.

I started losing my resilience and my ‘fight’ as more and more crows gathered (metaphorically speaking).

Actually it wasn’t until one of my adopted parents mentioned that they wondered if I had become more and more depressed as a result of this latest bout of illness, and I had listened to a recorded sermon from one of my pastors ( I couldn’t make church and was uploading the sermon to the church website anyway so I thought I would listen to it) that I realized just what was happening.

Depression  is such a complex thing and I really do understand the genetic and neurochemical factors involved in some, including my own. depression.  But the presence of genetic and/or nuerochemical factors does not automatically exclude the presence of additional circumstantial or environmental or emotional or psychological or spiritual factors.

I am convinced that regardless of the presence of genetic and/or nuerochemical factors we need to do all that we can to have a positive and healthy attitude of mind and of heart if we are to beat this thing.  And that is a lesson I am constantly having to relearn or remember it seems.

Thankfully my physical health appears to be on the mend, at least to the point it was prior to this latest bout of illness and whilst I am still very fatigued I am getting stronger each day!

I am so grateful for this and I am so very grateful that I have people in my life who will bring positive messages and encouragements to me.  I am also very thankful for all the prayers that folk have been praying on my behalf.

Hopefully I will be back posting as normal within a few days but I did want to post this update to everyone and to thank everyone for their love, concern, encouragement and prayers.

crowtargetEach and every expression of love, each and every word of encouragement, each and every demonstration of concern, each an every prayer offered on my behalf has been an active and definite weapon against that gathering of crows that I mentioned.

And for this I am extremely thankful and I praise God for each an every one of you who have been a part of it.

Kind Regards and God bless you.