A Brilliant Blog Award – Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!

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Awards, Just For Fun

My Kiwi blogging buddy, Cate from over at Infinite Sadness or… hope! has so very kindly awarded me The Brilliant Blog Award.  You can check out her blog an the nomination here.

I have to tell you that each and every award that this blog receives touches me greatly.

One of the main reasons for my writing this blog is to make a difference in the way in which folk like us who face challenges with our mental health are viewed and so when this blog receives such an award it really does encourage me.

So here are “Da Rules”

Da Rules

Write an acceptance speech, linking back to the person who gave it to you. (See immediately below these rules) √
Write 7 things you believe in. √ (See below)
Give the award to as many brilliant blogs as you would like to share the love. √ (See my statement below)

Acceptance Speech…

[Walks to podium curtseys gracefully and then removes a folded piece of paper from the inside pocket of his bright green tuxedo.  Unfolding the paper he coughs slightly to clear his throat and waits for the rapturous applause to die down before speaking into the imaginary microphone in his mind.]

It is with great honor that I except this award not least of all because I know that it has come from you the public.  Or more accurately one member of the pubic which, given that the world population is now listed at around 7 billion people, means that it has been awarded to me by one 7 billionth of the public!  LOL.  But hey one 7 billionth is better than none and I will take it over none any day of the week 🙂

In accepting this award I would like to thank my parents and family, my children, agent, my dog, my psychosis and most importantly of all my long suffering office chair for all their ‘support’, without which this blog would not be possible. (Or at very least would require me to stand for long periods of time)

OK I admit it I was just playing with the whole “acceptance speech” thing but seriously I am as I pointed out above very honored and grateful to receive this award and on a more serious note I thank God for the inspiration that I have enjoyed in order to allow me to write this blog.  Which brings me to the subject of …

7 things I believe in…

1.  I believe in equality.  Not in a prescripted, man made and corrupted equality but in a very real and valuable and life-giving and life-freeing way.

2.  I believe in hope and that each and every one of us should have the right to that hope not only in this life but also in the next and that nothing should ever be done to remove or hinder that hope.

3.  I believe in loving and respectful freedom of expression!  That we each, regardless of; status, upbringing, color, creed, race, social, economic, physical, emotional, mental or spiritual circumstance should not only have a voice and right to speak out with love and respect but to be heard.

4.  I believe in me, in you and in us.  I believe that with the right help we can all be useful and essential members of the world community and that not one person – with the right support, guidance and love – is beyond becoming a useful and essential member of the world community.

5.  I believe that the term mental ill or the term physically ill should never be seen as an excuse to write someone off or pity or debilitate them as a person and that the phrase “disability” whilst being accurate in some respects is never an excuse for bigotry, disdain or injustice and that it doesn’t mean unable it simply means differently able. – See my “Dare To See It Differently Campaign post”  That stigma has no place within the mental health community, the physical health community or anywhere where right and fair minded, clear thinking individuals exist.

6.  I believe in love, truth, respect, integrity and family. That each ad every one of us should be considered with these in mind and that these should be the center of our dealings with each other.  That family is decided more than just by links within the blood that flows through our bodies but within the love and mutual respect that should flow through our hearts.

7.  And, most importantly, I believe in Christ and am convinced of the truth of Christ.  But I also believe in the freedom of each and every one of us to find that truth in the ways that are relevant and applicable to our individual lives and not just according to my own personal experiences or persuasion.

So there you have them my 7 beliefs.  Which just leaves my nominations.

My Nominations…

And here I would like to ask you to bear with me.  I am keen that the nominations that I make are well thought out and meaningful and so I am going to defer my decision in respect of who I am awarding this award to until a later date.

Again, and in closing, I really am so very grateful for this award and I want to again thank Cate from other at Infinite Sadness or… Hope for thinking of me and awarding this award to me. 🙂

Try Looking At It Through My Eyes Challenge – Day 11

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Bipolar DIsorder and Sleep, Challenges, Christianity and Depression, Christianity and Mental Health, Mental Health, Mental Illness, My Eyes Challenge

Day Eleven of my Try Looking At It Through My Eyes challenge and today’s one is probably the one I will struggle with the most.

Day Eleven – “The Forgiving” – Choose one thing in your life that you have done and feel guilty for and write yourself a letter forgiving yourself for that thing. Ps. You don’t need to name the thing you did unless you feel comfortable doing so.

Its a funny thing isn’t it?  Forgiveness.  And by that I mean it is funny peculiar not funny ha ha. But I do fully believe it is also something that can be either extremely freeing or extremely binding.  Extremely freeing if given or received correctly or extremely binding when not.

The problem is that some times we are our own worst enemy when it comes to forgiveness aren’t we?  Or am I alone in this?  You see I hold myself to extremely high standards, punishingly, probably unachievably, high standards in some respects.  And yet even with the knowledge that these standards are too high, potentially unachievable still I struggle to forgive myself when I don’t meet them.

Similarly I often get lost between the world of capability and incapability within my mental health. That world which classifies some things, thoughts or actions as being beyond our immediate control as a result of our mental health, and yet which we still refuse to accept were beyond our control and thus come down hard on ourselves over.

Yes if there was one thing which I would want to forgive myself for and yet feel I might still not have done so, it would be something to which both of those things are applicable.  The hurt that I have caused my family and loved ones over the years most probably as a result of my mental health.

So here is my letter to myself in respect of that…

Dear Kevin,

So here you are sat writing to yourself and not really knowing just what doing so will even achieve.

And hey, if talking to yourself is a sign of madness, isn’t writing to yourself putting that madness down on paper and isn’t doing so on the net simply putting that madness out there for all to see?

And yet is it?  Or is it instead a way of creating a record of something important, something worth going back to when the need arises, something worth sharing in the hope that perhaps, just perhaps others might be able to relate and by doing so to find the very freedom you yourself seek?

Accountability is important to you isn’t it?  To us isn’t it?  To live, as far as you are able, according to the standards and expectations that you hold yourself within.  To love and value and respect others wherever possible. Even when their behavior, their words or actions make that so very difficult sometimes?

But there is that phrase again, “as far as you are able”.  What was I able of doing and what was I, as a result of my mental health, not able to do?  Which actions, which statements, which reactions and responses, that in the past have hurt those I love came from me and which came from my mental health?

In the striving to achieve beyond the limitations of our mental health have we not somehow robbed our self of the very same understanding and tolerance that we would automatically afford others with the same challenges in life?

And what of that “love and value and respect for others wherever possible. Even when their behavior, their words or actions make that so very difficult sometimes?”  Should not that same “love, value and respect” be applied to yourself from yourself even when ‘your behavior’, ‘your words’, ‘your actions’ make that so very difficult at times”?

And what of your faith and of that second greatest commandment? “Love your neighbor as yourself”? “As yourself”  the words are clear aren’t they?  Are you not somehow failing to do that by failing to forgive yourself?

The fact that you have in the past sometimes hurt the very people you love is undeniable. Just as not knowing whether this resulted from your mental health or simply bad behavior on your part is unknowable.

And here’s the truth.  You will no doubt hurt them again in the future and will no doubt still wonder whether it happened as a result of your behavior, attitude or mood, or as a direct result of your mental health.  And here’s an additional truth – they will no doubt hurt you in the future.

Why?  Because we are human and imperfect and because we all fall short when it comes to how we truly should treat ourselves and each other.

So what is important here?  That you hold yourself to too high a standard and expectation and fail to understand or forgive yourself whenever you don’t meet those standards or expectations.  Or that you hold yourself to high standards and expectations and yet do so realistically, lovingly, respectfully, realistically.

Which is greater and more desirable here?  The freedom that love and forgiveness offers or the bondage that un-forgiveness demands. And with what do we measure this? Our often too involved, too personal, too biased, too harsh, or too emotional, a reaction or the plain simple truth?

That plain simple truth which says, ‘we all fall short when it comes to how we should truly treat ourselves and each other’.  And the plain simple truth which says that, in Christ, providing you have sought to: apologize, to put things right, to learn from your mistakes and to try not to repeat them even God himself forgives you of these things.

Dear Kevin.

Accept that forgiveness, grasp that freedom, look to the future.

Because you cannot change the past, but you can learn from it and you can change the way it affects your present and your future.