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Fanfare please!

mariachi-trumpetmariachi-trumpet

Yes today is the end of my 30 Day Challenge and I am delighted!
30DayChallenge30 I have without doubt enjoyed doing this challenge and it has generally speaking been fun. But I am keen to get on with other things now and specifically to see how I myself respond to the challenge that I designed with the help of my daughter Nicky, namely the “Try Looking At It Through My Eyes” challenge.

So let’s look at the final challenge/subject in this challenge which is…

One Thing You Are Excited For.

There can of course be but one answer to this for me personally but before I get to that I want to explain something.  It is something that I have written about before and something that I just don’t fully understand and that is my apparent inability to experience certain emotions.

I found this fairly basic and yet creative graphic on Pintrest and it demonstrate certain moods in the form of a wheel.

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And I have to say that whilst it is basic ad I may have a different view of the listing included it can be used to demonstrate my point which is that there are it seems certain moods which escape me and one (in respect of this wheel) which always seems to escape me.

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I am of course referring to the whole ‘being excited’ thing.  I just don’t seem to do it or experience it in any positive sense.

Whether this is a result of one of my mental health conditions or whether this is a result of my seemingly needing always to be in control of my emotions (which could be argued as being genetic in as much as I am English and we English don’t like to lose control or show the loss of control of our emotions old chap LOL) or whether it is because I have a tendency to intellectualize and logic most things out I have no idea.

But being excited in a positive or constructive way is just not something I am used to or seem to experience.

That is not to say I do not experience any form of excited state.  Put the welfare of my dog at risk or confront me with extreme injustice and you will see a very different side to me.  But even then it is likely to fall more into the (verbally) ‘aggressive’ region rather than the excited region.

Likewise that is not to say that I am not passionate.  There are numerous things about which I am extremely passionate but in a more quiet warm rather than fiery explosive way.

So having explained that it is in that context that I am able to say that the one thing for which I would consider myself close to “excited” for would have to be heaven.

The chance to finally go home. The reward of reaching the end of this earthly section of the race.  To be with my Christ and my heavenly Father.  What a glorious thing to be able to have.

No more pain, no more sorrow, no more suffering.  To have this damaged, altered or confused mind finally healed and to know the answers to the questions that have eluded me most of my life in that respect.  Can you imagine it?  To have the Father look into my eyes and to be able to look into His.  Oh trust me I could go on for hours.

But I am mindful of Paul’s approach to this also.

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21 NIV

I long for heaven, yearn for heaven and I am as close to “excited” about heaven as I could ever be close to “excited” about anything.  But I live for Christ and the gain that I will get when I die must, if I truly do live for Christ,  come in accordance with Christ’s will and I know that.

So there you have it.  As predictable as it may seem that is the “one thing that I am excited for”  And interestingly it may be the one thing that is the end of this my 30 Day Challenge,. but it is also the one thing that is the constant source of my daily life-long challenge.  To fulfill the will of Christ in and for my life.

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