Well I saw the psychiatrist today.
I thought that since all I seem to have done over the past few weeks is complete the 30 day challenge each week and work on my books, it was time for a real and normal post 🙂
And today was, as I have mentioned my appointment to see the psychiatrist. I hadn’t seen one since way back in June and so wasn’t sure what to expect.
Actually (and thankfully) the psychiatrist I saw was nothing like the one in the clipart above 🙂 Instead it was a female psychiatrist from the french part of Canada and she was extremely nice and very approachable.
I will be honest with you here. Sadly, as a Christian with mental health issues, there are two types of people with whom I have learned to be hesitant about discussing my faith and mental health in the same conversation.
Psychiatrist and some Christians. And again sadly, I am sure I don’t have to labor the reasons why.
Go to a psychiatrist as some one who hears voices and share that you speak to God and three things will immediately rise. Their interest, their eyebrows and their pen.
Go to some Christians as someone who believes in and hears God and admit that you hear voices and instant diagnoses of demon possession and the need for immediate deliverance will result.
But thank fully the psychiatrist I saw today, although having her own faith, did neither of those things and we were able to have a sensible cohesive conversation with each other which included aspects of my faith. And trust me, since my faith is core to who I am, and thus no amount of help will be effective unless recognizing and respecting that, it was a welcomed change.
As a result of this I also fessed up to my struggles over my medication. My memory and focus difficulties often mean that I would forget to take my meds – folk who know me well will know the struggles that I have with these things – memory, focus and taking my meds.
Subsequently on realizing that I have forgotten to take my meds I would then decide to deliberately not take my meds, believing that since I haven’t taken them and seem ok I must not therefore need them.
Of course the keywords in that statement being “seem ok”, and often I am not ok. But I guess I am not alone in this and that others will be able to relate.
One difficulty is of course that in the past i have been medicated to such a degree that I am effectively being chemically lobotomized. Something I never want to experience as it affords no quality of life worth living and removes my ability to function let alone worship.
But we discussed this, the psychiatrist and I, and I have agreed to an increase in the dose of my psych meds on the condition that I retain control over whether or not I continue with the increase subject top giving it an adequate period of review.
I have to tell you, and I mean no disrespect to other psychiatric professionals here, but it is so refreshing to walk away from a consult actually feeling that you have been listened to and heard and that the primary purpose was not just the ticking of boxes and pushing of pills.
God is so good!