Day five in my 30 Day Challenge and something tells me that I should perhaps have looked more clearly at the questions/subjects in this challenge before taking it on. 🙂
Today’s question/subject is “Things you want to say to an ex” and the truth is that this can be such a sensitive subject can’t it?
But having committed to do this 30 day challenge and to face each challenge openly and honestly I will see it through…
The message at Church on Sunday included how we communicate with each other especially on the internet and such social media sites as Facebook etc. Watching our words and tone and communicating in love. It really was an excellent message and I have no doubt a very timely one, since God is an on time God.
As humans we have such a strange relationship with love don’t we? How quickly it can turn to anger and even hatred when it fails. Love, or at least the love that the world understands, is passionate and alive and requiring, often needy and demanding and when it breaks or fails how quickly we can allow that passion to corrupt and fester and turn.
I simply don’t want to love according to the terms of the world and would much rather love according to God’s way and will.
Likewise I don’t want to corrupt or ignore or alter or right off all that we shared before simply because we no longer share it. Because to do so would be to live a lie or to take such a wonderful and precious gift and to cheapen or taint it.
And at the same time to take the caring, the compassion, the love, the affection, the admiration and respect that I once held for my ex and somehow try to remove it retrospectively.
Additionally, who of us can honestly say, when a relationship ends that we were without fault and did nothing wrong to harm that relationship?
Such actions, such thoughts come not from a place of love or forgiveness or even truth but from a place of pain and anguish and deception and un-forgiveness. None of which would I want to knowingly welcome in my life.
Please don’t get me wrong here. Trust me, I truly do understand the hurt and pain when you are the one who was dumped and I seek to make no criticism or comment about how others have dealt with this issue, but I can only respond according to my own situation and according to my own heart.
And in my own personal situation I only have two ex’s that I can think of…
One would be my wife with whom I was with and married to for some 18 years or so and whom I dated for 6 years prior to our marriage.
And the other being a girlfriend whom I was probably dating for a year or so.
So that all having been said, what would I want to say to an ex and which ex would I want to say it to?
Well it would, I think, have to be my wife and as for what I would want to say, the answer would be very simple…
Thank you, I am sorry and may God truly bless you.
Thank you for all of the years that we did share together. Thank you for being the helpmeet that I needed and for all the love and support that you showed me during the time we were together. For the prayers, the fun, the laughter, the tears, the support, the encouragement, the tolerance and compassion. For the things you showed me and the things you taught me or that God showed and taught me through you.
Thank you for being the mother you were and still are to our child/children.
I am sorry that it ended the way it did and for my part in not working hard enough to keep our relationship alive.
For those times when I took my eye off the ball so to speak and lost sight of what I should have been doing as a husband and father.
And may God truly bless you…
May God truly bless you in your future relationships and happiness and may you always know your place in His heart and in Him.
So there you have it. As I said at the start of this post I really didn’t know this one was coming up as I had only glanced at the questions/subjects but having committed to do the challenge I was determined to see it through.
And as I said in Day 01’s challenge – 5 ways to win my heart, I have no desire for a relationship of this sort now and my heart fully belongs to Christ. But that doesn’t mean that I need to have anger or bitterness either or to ignore or deny the many blessings that my previous relationship brought.:)