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Well today I am all tucked up in bed with some sort of flu like thing.  Which of course is kicking my butt – one of the wonderful spin-offs of my CFIDS no doubt.

BUT rather than sit here feeling sorry for myself I did think that today I would come up with a bit of fun.

So my little bit of self-indulgent fun is….

(Fanfare from the imaginary trumpet corp in my head)

Writing an ‘alternative‘ bucket list.

Now, I am sure most of us are familiar with, (as a result of the film of the same name and starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman), the concept of a ‘bucket list’ as being a list of things you want to accomplish before you die?

Well forget that boring old ‘let’s look at life positively since we are about to die concept’ how about an alternative concept and an alternative bucket list?

This being…

(Wait for it)

A list of things that simply make you want to barf in a bucket!  LOL

Yay!  How’s that for a radical alternative?

(Will someone please tell the imaginary trumpet corp in my head that they can stop playing now?)

So here’s the rules…

All you have to do is list 10 things which make you want to barf in a bucket or which get you so wound-up or cross, that it could quite easily make you ill enough to cause you to have to barf in a bucket.

Anyone can join in and write their own list and if you do, how about commenting below including a link and let the rest of us share in it?

So here, to start the ball rolling, or the barf flowing (sorry for the mental imagery of that but I am in an impish mood today) is mine….

Coming in at number 10……

Caviar!

Seriously! – get over yourself – all you folk who rave over it and think you are ‘ever so posh and cultured’ by appreciating it and being able to afford it!

I have had it, (way back in the day), and I didn’t like the taste of it then or now and I particularly don’t like the fact that you could feed a small starving village in Africa for a week on what folk spend on one small tin of it!

Coming in at number 9…

Mushy peas – Oh man I can’t stand mushy peas.  I am convinced that they were created by some chef who was cooking normal peas in a larger pot when a smaller pot fell off the wall onto the peas thus crushing them.

Now in my defense I will share with you that as part of my OCD I for years would not eat normal peas unless each on of them were perfectly round and without split or blemish – Yeah it used to drive my wife mad!  So perhaps that has something to do with it.

Coming in at number 8…

The word ‘like’ when used incorrectly and frequently in sentences and conversations and anecdotes.

I sat and watched the Graham Norton Show with Black Eyed Peas and Voice UK star will.i.am; comedian and Inbetweeners star Greg Davies; and veteran actress Miriam Margolyes; last night.

It was hilarious but Miriam, bless her, pointed this out and I sat there thinking, “Yay!  You go girl!  You tell them!”

Coming in at number 7…

Those ‘Mutual Admiration Society’ type gestures folk often make where they spend time telling each other how good each other are for no other reason than; to look super sweet, or because it is the ‘done’ thing, or because they don’t want the other person coming out looking nicer.

Coming in at number 6…

(Ok someone tell the imaginary trumpet corp in my head they can stop playing now.)

Those ‘why don’t you just get a room’ extended public displays of affection and especially long drawn out public snogging.

I am not (I promise you) an old fuddy-duddy, or indeed a grumpy old git, (although I accept that I might well be sounding like one in this list) and I delight in people being in love with each other.  But seriously, have some decency and restraint.  Or at least come up for air every now and then so that the rest of us don’t get so concerned for your welfare.

Oh and whilst on this particular note let me just say that this is even more of a potential “barf” inducer if said extended public display of attention includes “tongues” or what was called “french-kissing”.

Medical science has progressed so far nowadays that we have something called an ‘endoscopy’ which, trust me, can investigate your lover’s throat far better and far more efficiently than your tongue can.

Coming in at number 5…

The phrase – “hopelessly in love”

Is there such a thing?  Isn’t love itself full of hope? Intrinsically linked to hope? Doesn’t it in it’s self offer hope or dreams of times which are the very embodiment of hope?  Or am I just a romantic?

Coming in at number 4…

Discounting or downplaying the validity of someone’s feeling simply because they suffer from poor mental health.

Now this is a big one for me and it only comes in at number four simply because of the level of frequency that I witness it plus the fact that this list is not really in any order.  And certainly not because it is, in my mind, any the less important than those items coming in at 1, 2, and 3.

Is it possible that my feelings have been altered, corrupted, distorted or even exasperated as a result of my poor mental health?  Yes absolutely but please don’t start from that position and please don’t use my poor mental health as a reason to or justification of absolving yourself of your responsibilities to behave properly or treat me properly.

Coming in at number 3…

Label based presumptions and associated stigmas!

This one is very much linked to number four above and it is about all those who seem to presume and then assign stereotypical and all too often misplaced and incorrect stereotypical characteristics to people just because they are ‘labeled’ in a certain way.

This sadly happens with color, creed, race, socio-economic status and also to those of us who ave mental health challenges.

I am not governed by a label and you have no right to treat me, or anyone else, that way or to presume that just because I suffer from a mental health condition or conditions I am obviously going to act or respond in certain ways.

Coming in at number 2…

Sizism!

It irritates me so much how we send completely wrong messages out concerning size.  From the ‘we should all be uba-thin (probably hasn’t eaten anything for a month) size zero models’ to the ‘doesn’t deserve to have any respect because he or she is obese’ messaging that is out there in society.

When will we learn to treat people as people and not as targets for our unfair pre-conceived, generally incorrect and unhealthy, agendas and bigotry?

And finally, coming in at number 1…

The use of the word “serious” as a preface to the word “illness” or “condition”.

“He has a ‘serious’ mental health condition.”  Really?  What are everyone else’s conditions?

Casual? Informal? Jovial? Humorous? Flippant? Incidental? Insignificant?  Unimportant?

Now don’t get me wrong here, I know that there are levels when it comes to conditions but can’t we find a better way of grading them ?

One which doesn’t offend or disrespect other sufferers?

Ok so there you go!  My ‘alternative‘ bucket list and again it isn’t written in any particular order other than how they came to me.

I hope you will forgive me this little rant and are not offended by it and hey feel free to write your own ‘aletnative’ bucket list and let me know if you do 🙂

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