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The past seven days or so have certainly been a tough time for me physically although the good news is that mentally I have managed to keep fairly upbeat despite it all.

Being so ill has really put a block on my attempts to get healthier, lose weight and become more mobile but the fact of the matter is that this is all part of being ill, my CFIDS and being so desperately overweight.

Additionally my Hidradenitis suppurativa has flared up again and I have open lesions which is making walking much harder and more painful but hopefully with cleaning and treating and dressing these will go soon enough.

I am determined not to let it get me down and to keep on fighting regardless of it.

I had hoped for a good solid few weeks of better health so that I could serious make a dent in my weight and at least have something to show for what I have done so far.  It is one of the cycles of the CFIDS and being so ill and so overweight that you do some exercise and then have to spend so much time in bed and seemingly undo all you have done.

Of course that is a pessimistic way of looking at it because the truth is that I would have been in bed anyway and so the exercise I have managed has if nothing else lessened the damage done by my being in bed so much.

But then that is one of the aspects of depression, looking at the darker side of things or at very least not being able to see the brighter side of things.  Again I am determined to not do that and to fight the habit and tendency of doing that.

Tomorrow morning I have to see my psych and normally would get a cab/taxi there and back but tomorrow morning I am going to try to walk it – at least walk there if I can’t manage both.  But since it is now 2 in the morning I had better go to bed and get some rest.

Oh and just to top things off for me, the dreaded breast lump has returned again but – seeing as I am wishing to be upbeat and positive this evening I took Tj out and we walked to town and back despite the torrential rain.  By the time we got back I was absolutely soaked to the skin but felt so pleased to have been able to have done it.

🙂  How’s that for upbeat!

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