Three in the morning and once again I am awake. Or at least I think that I am awake.
My mind is kind of awake and my body well my body refuses to communicate anything but its displeasure in the form of pain.
Interestingly I am neither frustrated nor irritated by my insomnia this morning. I think I have simply become accustomed to it. Of course that is probably not a good thing at all.
As for the source of my insomnia we are not sure. Is it the fact that my mind will not shut off? Is it a side effect of the medication? Is it down to erratic or poor sleep patterns? Is it because of the nightmares? Who knows?
Tomorrow morning I have company coming round to visit. The pastor of my old church. Not sure what the motivation is but possibly it has something to do with their website which I still design and manage at the moment.
I had hoped that I would rest this evening so that I had my wits about me in the morning but then the best laid schemes of mice of men oft go awry. Hm was that Steinbeck? No I remember now it is a Robert Burns quote.
Anyway, here I am up and awake at three in the morning and desperately need to sleep.
I should perhaps explain that one of my illnesses is Severe Obstructive Sleep Apnoea which causes my airways to collapse and thus me to stop breathing. According to both the consultant who runs the sleep clinic in Southampton, England who first diagnosed me and the professor in Dublin who I now see I have a severe condition in respect to it and thus I am not allowed any form of sedatives.
Which is why I don’t watch a lot of daytime television (since I am convinced that a great deal of daytime television is produced with copious amounts of sedative qualities. Thank the Lord for that as at least it saves me from adopting a sedentary lifestyle.
OK on the bright side of it all I am very happy with the house at the moment. I have been doing some housework and have the house almost as tidy as I would like it. There are a couple of things that still need doing. Tidying of my office being one of them but that is a minor things in the whole scheme of things and apart from this I am all set for a restful Christmas.
Ok I am going to try to sleep again now, whether I will be successful I don’t know but at least I can give it a try, and anyway if not i can always read one of my new books.
Night all God bless.