I have really struggled today. I think my general health, financial stress and my overall mental health have been weighing down on me.
This is nobody’s fault. Not mine, nor anyone’s really, it is just a fact of life. But sometimes you just have to push through the struggles and press on regardless in the hope that something will change or that there will be some sort of let up from it all.
This afternoon a couple of friends from my old church (and who have kept in touch with me since I left) visited me and blessed me with some chocolate and fruit and nut treats for Christmas and a small cake. Really appreciate this and am looking forward to enjoying them Christmas Day.
For some time now I have been saying how much I have been enjoying the Bible Studies that I have been able to attend in the new church that I go to every now and then. Actually it has re-ignited my passion for God’s word and as I said in a text to someone I feel that in some ways I have been walking in a veritable spiritual wilderness for some several months now.
So I decided to do something about it and to get back into the word. Now ideally I would really like to get into it and to actually attend a Bible College and indeed this was on the cards many years ago when I was asked to consider becoming a Church of England minister. But alas I chose a different path at that time and now my physical and mental health are obstacles to that and whilst they may not be insurmountable my limited income certainly is a huge factor in it all.
So, because of this, I decided to get into studying on my own until something changes. Having spent a little time doing a bit of housework (or “my chores” as we as a family like to call them) I knuckled down and started my first study today.
Because this blog is primarily about mental health I am publishing them on one of my other blogs “Musings of a Simple Soul” and am calling the series – Seeking to understand God’s word.
I chose that title “Seeking to understand God’s word” because I am not publishing them as any definitive teaching but more as my trying to learn more. The are no more than my musings if you will. “Musings of a simple soul” – i.e. me.
If anyone would like to follow them you are more than welcome and if you would like to comment on them you are again more than welcome. Although I have to be honest here, I have no intention of getting into any “does God exist?” debates and thus won’t approve any comments to that effect. Quite simply that isn’t the purpose of the studies as it is a question I have already satisfied myself with the answer to.
So all in all it has been a good day despite the struggles. Additionally my son and his partner came in to visit with me this evening and that is always a blessing and so I am very grateful for everything that has happened today.