So today has been a very restful day for me and one that I think I really needed.
This morning I did nothing as I was asleep and in fact managed to sleep fairly soundly and continuously other than one or two waking moments that were very short-lived.
This for me is very unusual and if anything confirms to me how out of sorts I am at the moment. Hm is it possible that actually I am in sorts today and out of sorts all other days? See that is one of the things about “normality” it is nothing more than a world precariously perched on an every moving skateboard.
What is normal to one is alien to another and indeed what it normal to one now may not be normal later on since normality is comparative.
I think it was the English writer Nigel Kneale who wrote of his art of writing – “The trick is the paradox – turning your story inside out. Now if it is something that appears to be of total normality and then suddenly turns inside out and is a different thing all together then that’s fun to write.”
For the mental illness sufferer normality is a paradox that tricks you into believing your story is inside out even when it is in fact right side in. Or indeed is that in itself a paradigm since it contains the constant that is you throughout it all – if indeed a mental illness sufferer can indeed be considered a constant in any sense of the word?
But I digress.
As I said I had a morning of sleep followed by an afternoon and evening of rest. Well almost rest – for I don’t think I am actually able of going a whole day resting. This afternoon I popped to a neighbor’s house to fix their computer and then later I did some tidying (only a small amount since actually I shouldn’t have done any.
This evening my son and his partner popped in so that he could save the world via the exploits of his Xbox 360 and she joined me in watching some television. Thankfully our services in respect of saving the world were not required as yet, which is possibly a good thing since I have been a party to saving the world via the Xbox 360 and am as much use as a fire guard constructed of chocolate.
Once the world was saved, or so it seems, the normal reward is to educate Dad as to your requirements for Christmas and then t0 say good night having a) extinguished all present enemies living in the world of the Xbox 360 gamer at that time and b) nominated your chosen bounty.
Who exactly nominated me as paymaster general I am not quite sure but I have a feeling that it is a position that I earned resultant from some carnal lust that I suffered some 21 years ago approximately 9 months before my son’s birth.
So for all you budding or relatively new parents who might be reading this and who think that you are responsible for your children until they reach the age of 18 or (21 if American) – forget it, I am fairly sure it is a life-long responsibility. But please don’t tell my son I said so.
More resting followed their departure and so I thought I would publish a quick post to this blog before retiring for the night.
As you can no doubt guess from this posting whilst I am still mentally and physically drained I am still able to be fairly optimistic about things. I am very grateful for this as physically I am still suffering from the bleeding and my leg is still ballooned regardless of my having rested all (well most) of the day.
Hopefully tomorrow will be just as restful although I am already aware of things that I so desperately want to get done and am not sure just how long I can be “well-behaved” for by continuing to rest as directed by my doctor. Especially given the fact that actually I already haven’t rested as directed since today I have been out and fixed a computer and then undertook some housework instead of completely resting. Hm perhaps I will leave it there.