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Over the past few days I have not blogged as much as I normal and not least of all the reasons for this is the fact that I am “out of sorts” at the moment.

“Out of sorts”  It is an interesting turn of phrase don’t you think?

Now here is an interesting piece of trivia for you.  Way back in the 14c French the word “sorte” is used in respect of “class” or “kind”.   If we go back prior to this and look for it’s origin we have to consider the Latin word “sortem” which effectively and logically has a similar meaning of “rank”, “category”, “share”, “portion”, or “lot “.  Actually the Vulgar Latin inference or conclusion being that one’s “rank” or “category” or “condition” in life is to some degree governed by one’s “fate” or if you will the “lot” they have drawn or been assigned in life.

Yes I know, Kevin is on one of his etymology kicks again, but what can I tell you? I love words and I am very interested in etymology.  As a Christian I study the bible and as a bible scholar (albeit perhaps a fairly novice one) I think it is very interesting to consider the original meaning of words used especially when dealing with the Greek, Hebrew or Aramaic.

So I find it interesting when I as a Christian use a phrase such as feeling “out of sorts” when such a phrase in effect could easily mean “being at odds with one’s condition according to one’s fate.”

Fate?  Another interesting and possibly life-changing subject.  What is my fate?  What is your fate?

Again, as a Christian, for this impacts every aspect of my life, I am fully confident of my fate.  I believe fully in the assurances of God and the promises of eternal life that I belief the bible promises through Christ Jesus and Christ Jesus alone.  “Jesus said to him,I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” ” (John 14:6 KJV)

As for what my exact fate is in respect of my time left here on this earth and indeed what my fate is in respect of how I will “pass on” I don’ exactly know and indeed have little regard for it other than I hope and pray that in both the living of the rest of my life and indeed in my “passing” I will do so in accordance with God’s will and bring Him glory in the process.

Of course there are certain things that we do know as Christians.  We know that we are called to spread the gospel of peace, to minister Christ’s love, to worship and to glorify God, to fellowship with other believers, to name but a few.

This afternoon I was able to fellowship with a couple of dear friends from my old church and this evening I got to fellowship with members of my new church – doing so by attending a bible study again.

I have to tell you that whilst physically I am drained, I do have a peace that I have not had for a few days now and indeed that feeling of “being out of sorts” has left me.

Was this the problem that I have been facing?  The source of my feeling “out of sorts”?  Could it be that actually what I was experiencing was in part due to the fact that I was not fulfilling part of my fate as a Christian?

I have already mentioned fate and fate in itself is simply one’s ordained destiny and whilst nowadays it is often spoken of in respect of one’s passing, the truth is that this meaning whilst acceptable in some circumstances is not exclusive and not primary.  “The ordained course of one’s life” would be a much better definition and I have already shared my views as to the ordained course of a life of a Christian.

Please trust me here.  I am not in any way discounting my poor physical health or my poor mental health here.  Nor am I discounting their effects or the difficulties that they throw up at me.  But I see them as no more than the mire.  The wet, swampy, boggy ground that drags at me and exhausts me so easily.

I make no exaggeration when I tell you that by the time I got home this evening I was mentally and physically drained and could easily of dropped inside the front door and stayed there until tomorrow.

Of course some of that is my own fault.  I had forgotten to eat breakfast this morning and had forgotten to eat an evening meal this evening before going out.   In fact if it had not been for the fact that my dear friends who visited me this afternoon very kindly brought with them a salad roll for me to eat, I may not have eaten at all today.

So when I checked my blood sugars after returning home this evening, their being through the roof came as little to no shock to me.  Although I did partake of the excellent nibbles that were available at the bible study.

So yes I do consider my poor mental and poor physical health and their subsequent difficulties/challenges to be but the mire I wade through, but what keeps me going is the fact that I do not wade through it alone and that no matter what dirt or stains cling to me in the effort I know that my Saviour will be washing me clean.

And on top of this, I also know that sometimes, like this afternoon – spending time and having fellowship with my friends from my old church, and this evening – having fellowship and spending time together in prayer and in worship and gathered round His word, I get to climb out of that mire and rest.

For this I am extremely grateful not only to God but also to those who allow me to be part of their life and part of their faith.