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I love music!  All kinds of music really.  In fact it is true to say that I have a rather eclectic taste when it comes to music although yes there are certain types,  styles or genres  of music and indeed certain  singers who I would choose to listen to more than others.

In terms of types, styles or genres I guess I am far more likely to listen to Classical music than I am any other but mainly because there are seldom any lyrics to get sidetracked by and I can (and often do) have it on whilst I am writing.  Other than classical music I listen to a lot of modern Christian music (although far less nowadays) and a lot of Ballads.  I find the calming and often-time deep-seated emotions behind a lot of ballads to be soothing and something that I can relate to so very well.

In terms of singers, well as I said before there are many. Far too many to mention.  But to give you some idea, at the moment, or at least more recently, I am very much into Brad Paisley, Alison Kraus, Christina Perri, Adelle, Dido, Nichole Nordeman and many more.

And I was listening to one of those singers – Dido – this afternoon whilst I was cleaning up.  Actually I hadn’t chosen to listen to her, I simply had my music player on random and the song “White Flag” came on.

It is an awesome song isn’t it?  A song of love and hurts and a song of defiance and resilience.  But as I listened to it I couldn’t help but notice something.  In amongst the resilience, the defiance is there not a sense of defeatism or perhaps realism?

Check out the words of the chorus….

“But I will go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I’m in love and always will be”  (Songwriters: Rowland Armstrong; Jr. Nowels; Dido Armstrong)

How do you view those words?  Isn’t there a great sense of resilience and defiance in them?  A great sense of survival?

I can so relate to those words! And, I am so thankful to be able to say, I can relate to the sense of resilience and defiance and of survival that is weaved within them.  But here is where I part company with those words…

“I will go down with this ship”  Um, no I will not!  Why?  Because this ship is not going down, I won’t let it.

I am probably not making very much sense here and for that I apologize.  But consider this if you will and it might just help you to understand where I am coming from.

Consider my life to be the ship.  Consider if you will that my mental health is the sea/the ocean and consider (again if you will) my mind and my heart (my very soul perhaps) to be the captain of that ship.

At the moment my life might be in turmoil.  Ok I accept that.  At the moment my mental health (the sea) is stormy and dark and wind-swept and the waves of my mental health may be crashing around me and smashing against the side of my ship threatening its very survival.  But all that this does is give me a choice.  To give up and watch that ship (my life) go down and to go down with it.  OR to do all I can to fight and to pilot my way through the storms.

So I have made my decision.  I am going to fight and to try to pilot my way through the storms.

“But I WON’T go down with this ship
And I won’t put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I am loved and always will be”