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Sadness can come in many forms in this life and having a faith doesn’t remove the possibility of suffering sadnesses, in fact it can increase it as your faith can certainly not only make you more sensitive or at least aware of things that you might not have been concerned about before or indeed open you up to far more things to be sensitive about.

For me personally one of the ways in which this has manifested itself is in my passions and compassions.

Just lately I have been extremely impacted by the way in which God appeared to have been represented within certain relationships.  Please do not get me wrong here, I am in no way seeking to imply that there was anything wrong with those relationships just that those relationships appeared to have been representing Christ in a way that I cannot understand or agree with.

When things like this happen and my heart gets impacted to such a degree I need to pray and so that is what I do but this time instead of just praying and leaving the matter well alone until I had prayed I responded and did so with passion but little compassion.

And so in my prayers what came to me was not confirmation of my feelings, encouragement to fight the cause or even a sense of peace over the matter.  No instead I was convicted of how little compassion and love I had demonstrated as a result of letting my passion run away with me.

I guess because of my own childhood and upbringing and because of the work that I did for so long when I was well the way in which people appeared to be treated and the way in which others so seemingly easily accepted this treatment really hit a nerve.  Even so I was wrong and I was left with no other leading than to apologize for my letting my passions run away with me.

In truth apologizing at anytime can be difficult and indeed apologizing when you are convinced that you were at least in part in the right even harder.  But I love my Father in heaven and I want so much to please Him and to be obedient to His leading and so I have made th apologies that I needed to make.

As for the rest, the initial concerns and passions, well they remain but instead of controlling me they simply motivate me.  It is my sincere hope and prayer that my apology will go some way to alleviating or repairing any offense I may have caused, and yet even more than this I hope and pray that God’s will and His nature will win through in all this.  Not only in the way I respond to these things but also to how my responses are accepted or received.

So in short I got busted and received admonishment for my behavior. But you know this is ok as it is good for growth.

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